Joint Custody Support

Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

 If you are reading this, I will assume you either have or will have a teen driver in your household. Having been through this myself, I graciously offer you “the parent/s” my personal feelings and research on the subject.

As a single father of two children, I was terrified when they became old enough to drive. Not because   of trust, or I thought they were bad drivers, far from it. It was the mere fact that the world has changed greatly, and not for the better. My children mean everything to me, and having been an owner of a Towing & Recovery business for 25 years, I have seen more than my share of fatalities involving teens. Many would have survived if only they could have received help sooner.

When I first started too drive, my father handed me the keys to the old Chevy and off we went. Mostly on dirt roads, but I loved it. I listened to every word of caution and instruction my father had to offer. However, like I said, things have changed, teens are more independent now and while they will listen for the most part. You will need to offer a little more latitude than when you were that age. Still, when it was time to drive I have to admit I was scared to death, let me reiterate, it was not a trust issue. Simply put, “we” as teenagers did not have to contend with carjacking, theft, massive traffic or road rage. Moreover, I believe that many teens succumb to peer-pressure more so in today’s society.

Therefore, after several gray hairs, and before my second child’s turn too drive. I decided to find a solution that could give me peace of mind, while protecting my children. However, I did not want to interfere with their privacy or sense of freedom. I felt with the advancements we have in technology, there must be a product that would fulfill my requirements. These were simple,

1. A panic button they could push if phone use was not possible/practical, that would instantly notify me of an emergency i.e. injury, carjacking ect…
2. Ways to locate and track the vehicle if such an emergency arose. This would facilitate a quicker response time by medical or law enforcement by providing an exact location.
3. Instant notification should the vehicle be evolved in an accident or stolen.
4. A way to recover the vehicle if it was stolen.
5. And most important, give my children and I a greater level of safety and security.

While some new vehicles offer systems that have a couple of these features, they require third parties to relay information. This in-turn slows response time and it would not notify me directly. In addition, they simply do not offer all of my requirements. Moreover, buying a new vehicle for $30,000 or $40,000 is not prudent for a first car. I believe a parent should help, but the teenager should be required to pay for at least part of the vehicle. This teaches them they half to work for what they want, and a greater sense of pride when it is achieved. In addition, I wanted a system that could be easily installed or removed in any vehicle and at a reasonable price.

After several months of research, I found the Millennium Plus. It easily provided for my requirements, and a multitude of other features that could be used or not at my choice i.e. remotely lock/unlock door or disable vehicle and much more. It was also very affordable costing no more than a good stereo.

I purchased one for each of our vehicles, and after installing it, I do feel much more relaxed. The kids love it too, maybe because it is a new toy or the fact they can remotely control the car. I personally think every parent should install this system for peace of mind. You can find it at www.findvehicle.net 

Larry Kilburn
http://www.articlesbase.com/parenting-articles/parents-teen-driver-safety-678792.html

Related Blogs

• Related Blogs on Parents & Teen Driver Safety

Personally I have 7 children 6 boys 1 girl, ranging from 9 to 25 and most of them are in their teens, we own every Nintendo system and nothing but. It’s hard to afford even the WII, let alone find one, so we thought waiting for a year.

We could get one for them next year, so we will wait to read the gossip reviews and facts going around.

We have also loved and recommend the type of games SONY has put out for years and years, they produce a good variety. These are the sort of kid games the kids really want. Having said that, it is true that Nintendo does have fabulous games. I’ll go even further Nintendo has games that we almost cannot live with out!

The classics are Zelda, Mario and the like, Shooters, and sports, and SONY undeniably has the top Kid games, of role playing, great shooters, etc. I could go on and on.

I enjoyed some unusual board games or vintage kid games which we played as a kid, but, in my opinion, none can match the shear power of enjoyment kids get now from the top computer game creators.

There is more and more use of games to put across important messages to kids. Some “keep them safe” type kid games are available that have been designed for tweens and teens. They are full blown actual computer games that take kids through the experience of being hood-winked by internet predators.

The reason that such a large investment has been put inot such games is so that kids can learn to recognize the signs and avoid the real thing.

The many kid games we have bought in our family can be categorized under various groups such as representations of indoor games, outdoor games, card games, board games, and even turing full circle some even imitate role playing in computer games, etc.

The outdoor kid games programs tend to include hyper-physical activities such as running, swimming, jumping , etc. All the kid games we like are set up to be user-friendly so that children can earn lots of little rewards.

Now turning away from computer kid games lets talk of some games which we play for real!

Choose two teams with an even number of kids on each team, line up half of them from each team at each end. Designate a starting line and a finish line about 10 feet away. Give each team a straw and a ping-pong ball. The winning team must work in relay to blow the ball back and forth, until there are no more relay members left. The first to finish is the winning team.

Children want to be entertained, not patronized by their kid games. And, going back to computer games, from a character design standpoint, at least Sonic was blue.

Children are not children for very long and the game company that ignores their future spending power does so at it’s own peril. The problem I detect is that the games companies are focusing to much on the biggest market, and on older geek players. Why can’t a gaming console cater better for the development of our children, teens and adults. Big games creating companies should do better. Not just line up all their output for high spending sad, spotty geeks who have nothing else to do.

Child play games, if they are to be successful in allowing your inner child to become visible to you and others, often need to be simple, silly, frivolous, childish, light and airy. The reduction of stress and anxiety in our lives requires that we relax, lighten up and become less serious and intense.

Nintendo is for children. The children are the future. OK. Nintendo is a business, and it needs to make a profit, fine. But while selling better games fo well balanced and intelligent children they do not need to completely abandon every single hardcore gamer.

I have seen Nintendo’s business development and products over the years. They must have made very many blunders in the past years including now bringing out a even smaller Gameboy advance, yet they have the Gameboy SP and a Gameboy DS out as well. Also, just because Nintendo says that you can download games from every one of 20 years from its library, this doesn’t mean that they will be all be good games.

Lucky for us their all time greatest titles are all available for the Game Boy Advance!

Steve Evans
http://www.articlesbase.com/fitness-articles/kid-games-a-parents-view-698299.html

Related Blogs

• Related Blogs on Kid Games a Parents View

The problem with recently divorced single parents is that are waiting too long to start dating again, complaining they are oh, so busy. The real reason is their fears, because their previous situation was usually so ugly, they don’t have a strong enough ego to let rejections roll off their back.

Even if they are starting to date, in most cases are doing this for the wrong reasons. Some single parents think they are in competition with their ex, particularly if they were left for a younger partner. They also might be playing a game to prove to the ex that they are desirable by dating as many people as possible. In a nutshell, don’t date for emotional revenge, to allay feelings of loneliness or to prove your desirability to others.

After a divorce, both parties are tented to change partners almost every week or month and are not in the mood to compromise with somebody.

But after a while especially single fathers are feeling the need to have a life partner and a mother for their children.

If you are a single father and you are determined to find someone for a long time relationship you have to be sure that you are making the best choice because now you are not alone, you are making the choice not only for you but for your children too.

There are some gold rules to consider that can help you to find the best mom for your children and the best lover for you:

1. As there is no surer turn-off for a potential lover than a person who insists on living in the past, make a rule for yourself that you are going to do your absolute best not to drag the past into new relationships.

2. Your kids are the priority of your life; keep them there no matter what!

3. You have been careful to prepare your kids for the fact that you will have a life other than the one with them. But don’t forget to make them understand that they will not lose your love, just some of your time together.

4. Chose to date only women that have at least one kid already. A woman without children will not understand you and your children needs and will not have too much patience. Don’t forget that children are the best when it is about to exasperate somebody, and in the first stage your new date will be like a target for your kids jest.

5. Don’t leave your partner to baby-sit. In order to keep children safe, it is necessary to be able to discipline them. It is too soon for your partner to discipline your children.

6. In conflict situation try to put yourself in your partner place, be diplomatic with your child and try to be impartial. Find the golden mean to resolve the problems between them.

7. Never chose your mate only because she is getting on well with your child. You have to find someone FOR YOU and YOUR CHILD. Remember that the best for your children is and will ever be their natural mum, the women you just have divorced (for some good reasons I believe). So find a woman that you are attracted to, a woman you find interesting AND that is willing to accept your children too.

8. Pay attention to her children too, and never forget that they are the priority of her life.

Ovi Dogar
http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/8-dating-rules-for-single-dads-73276.html

Today’s parents, teachers and leaders who grasp this concept of “natural greatness” are raising visionary children. These young visionaries have the power to create a world that works for all of us, and they are whom the world needs now.

The person of greatness, who will act powerfully from his own highest inner guidance, is at once a danger to the powers that be… and exactly who he needs to be for himself, his family, and the world around him. The person of greatness holds the power to transform the world around her.

The person of goodness, on the other hand, will follow and obey the powers that be rather than listen to and act from his own highest inner guidance, and is thus a danger to us all. She does not hold the power to transform the world around her, and often makes it worse, all the while trying to maintain the illusion of her self-righteousness.

What separates the person of goodness from the person of greatness? In a word, we could say “conscience.” But that word is perhaps too common or simplistic. Further, most of us assume that we know what “conscience” is.

What is “conscience?”

Consider that the word, conscience, was invented to name a universal human dynamic. In other words, it was obvious that human beings everywhere have some sense of right and wrong, which influences our choices. And so we created a word to identify that phenomenon.

So please forget about its religious or spiritual connotations or explanations for the moment, and consider that conscience, regardless of its source, refers to something common to human beings. And let’s look at it again, as if for the first time.

Think of conscience as an inner compass that continually reminds us to look at our choices, and make sure our actions align with our values.

Human beings have a consciousness (or conscience) that works via ongoing signals to face reality (especially when there is incongruence), and to stand (especially when there is a threat to one’s values). Further explained below.

Conscience As (Part Of) A Natural Greatness Guidance System:

Conscience works to guide your thoughts and actions via subtle emotional cues. The subtle pleasurable emotions function as signals to go towards, and subtle painful emotions function as signals to go away from.

To Face or Not To Face?

Often in very subtle ways, your mind alerts you when there is a threat to your values, when there is something to face or be conscious of. When you consider not facing what your mind is signaling you to face, there is anxiety or even guilt. When you consider, instead, turning to face it, there is less anxiety as well as a feeling of honor. This pleasurable feeling of honor is a “call to face.” And the painful feelings of guilt or anxiety are a warning not to ignore the call.

Then once you choose to face whatever it was and you reflect on your choice, there is naturally a feeling of honor for doing so. This is a pleasurable feeling that brings a sense of peace, and acts as a reward for facing. When you choose not to face and reflect on your choice, there is naturally a painful feeling of guilt or shame, a painful feeling, which acts as punishment for not facing.

To Stand or Not To Stand?

Your mind not only calls you to face, it calls you to stand. Let’s say you face the fact that your rent is late. Your mind then calls you to action, or to “stand” for your financial security. When you consider not standing, you feel a sense of guilt on some level, as you are going against your values. This acts as a signal to stand. And when you consider standing for your values, there is naturally a sense of honor. This acts pleasurable feeling leads you or “calls you” to stand.

Then once you do choose to stand for you values, the feeling of honor is your natural reward. And choosing not to stand brings a feeling of guilt.

So, conscience 1a) calls you to face reality, 1b) warns you against not facing, 1c) rewards you for facing, 1d) pains you for not facing, 2a) calls you to stand, 2b) warns you against not standing for your values, 2c) rewards you for standing, and 2d) pains you for not standing. In summary, it leads you to live powerfully and courageously in line with your values in life by 1) continually looking honestly at reality, yourself and your values, and 2) continually act on behalf of your values even in the face of fear.

So what?

This is essentially a call to greatness, is it not? So then, could greatness be natural? Could it be that we each possess a natural greatness guidance system?

And if so, then why so much training to be good? And how does this goodness training interfere with our natural conscience, our call to greatness?

If you were threatened by your child’s, your student’s, your employee’s or your citizens independent conscience/consciousness… how could you train him or her to not follow his own conscience/consciousness?

Well, here’s one way:

1) Teach him that it is wrong to think and choose for himself, and then teach him what to think

2) Punish him for thinking or choosing differently than your commands

3) Reward him for blind obedience

In essence, tell him that to be good is to agree and obey with you, and train him to follow. Sooner or later, he will pay attention to your goodness guidance system rather than his greatness guidance system. Before thinking or acting, he will think first of what you say to do, and how he might be rewarded or punished.

Now… of course most of our adults, superiors, and authorities in this world simply want what’s best for us. As adults, we need to help our children learn to be good, upstanding, responsible citizens and successful people, right? We can’t just let them do whatever they want! Consider that as human beings in the early 21st century, we simply don’t yet know much about developing greatness in our children or ourselves.

Not only are we not taught how to develop greatness in our children, we are conditioned and taught to train our children to be “good.”

And, even when we sense that goodness training is killing the greatness or spirit in our youth, it simply seems more “practical” to train them to be “good.”

Think about it. If you need to get your school kids from classroom A to classroom B, it’s simply seems more efficient to tell them that walking in a single file line is good, and going their own way is not, and then reward/punish them based on their actions.

So, regardless of why we often train each other to be good rather than develop each other’s natural greatness, let’s face now the obvious problem at hand: our goodness training is interfering with our natural greatness!

VISIONARY ADVANTAGE:

A visionary (as we define it) operates via a vision that calls her to greatness. Think of vision as a multiplier of your conscience. Imagine… more than feeling called to be honest with yourself, and more than feeling called to stand for your values… Imagine seeing a vision that calls you to face anything and everything, and stand without compromise day in and day out… until the end! Imagine having the kind of vision that calls not just your self, but your team and even your adversaries to greatness!

That’s the power of tomorrow’s visionaries. The new breed of revolutionaries are all visionaries–people who call themselves AND the world around them to greatness.

VISIONARY DYNAMIC:

The more you face and stand, the more you will see the kind of vision that calls yourself and others to greatness. The more you see the kind of vision that calls you and others to greatness, the more you will face and stand. The more you face and stand, the more others will face and stand. The more others face and stand, the more still others will face and stand.

It’s not hard to see how one single person living as a visionary can literally change not just the world around him, but humanity itself.

VISIONARY CHALLANGE:

Ask yourself what kind of formal and informal goodness training you’ve had. Now… have you had training in greatness? What about vision? What would such training be worth to you and to your children?

VISIONARY TRAINING:

Beyond greatness training, there is visionary training.

Consider that as a human being you have all you need for greatness. Human consciousness works via calling us to 1) face, and 2) stand. You probably sense that to some extent you’ve been trained or conditioned to ignore or turn away from your own conscience and consciousness. And you probably have a good idea of how this negatively impacts your power in life and your sense of fulfillment in this world.

Well what if you were to experience your natural greatness guidance system in all its power? What if you were to live consciously and skillfully as a visionary? Is that even possible?

Michael Skye
http://www.articlesbase.com/tutoring-articles/natural-greatness-a-mindshift-for-visionary-parents-teachers-and-leaders-91118.html

Related Blogs

• Related Blogs on Natural Greatness: A “Mind-Shift” for Visionary Parents, Teachers and Leaders

Life sure is full of twists and turns, sometimes taking us in directions we never expected to go in. In the 1960’s, when I was born, little girls were groomed to depend on men for a fulfilling family life. Learning to cook, clean and be ladylike were the norm back then. Watching Snow White, Sleeping Beauty and other lovely Disney movies, we waited for our hadsome princes to come take us away. For me, that never happened. Looking fashionable and cooking gourmet meals for men just didn’t do it for me, somehow. I kept my figure, wore high heels and pretty dresses, had my hair done every eight weeks and did the whole Stepford Wife thing (I can make a kiler batch of cookies), but felt totally unfulfilled and worn out. My husband always found things to complain about, no matter what I did. I felt unappreciated and bored in the lifestyle I thought I’d wanted all along. Read the rest of this entry »

Technorati Tags: dating as a single parent, divorce, single dads, single moms, Single parents